so the history behind love night is that when me and doug first got together, 10 whole long years ago, we both worked extra hard, as you do when you are young and trying to get somewhere, and often doug couldn't find time to see me, more likely he enjoyed his independance too much and didn't want me about in the week, so we said 'friday night will be our night together, we will get food delivered and watch a film together, no work no plans', ok so it took a long time to fall into the proper routine, i recall vividly the time i stood outside east finchley tube station for 4 minutes before calling doug for him to say 'i'm just leaving the office now', so i sat on a bench for another 45 mins before calling him, he didn't answer, but the fact that it rang gave me hope that he was a. overground on the tube, so less that 2 mins away. b. left his phone at work or c. drunk with work colleagues. i hoped desperately for a, but alas he called me back after 30 mins, very very very drunk. heartbroken i called his housemate and asked if he was coming near the station, he came and got me, i sat alone watching tv in his house until 10.30 when he turned up drunk not remembering that he had left me waiting at the station for what seemed like days! anyway i digress, there aren't too many of these stories, sorry, that is an enormous lie, i have tons of these stories, i was a desperate for attention 19 year old girl when we met, i wasn't bad looking, but i wasn't patient, i latched onto the first bloke who looked at me twice, sorry again thats a lie, doug never looked at me twice, he glanced in my direction and i clung for dear life onto a man who didn't like me, i think after a year he came round to the fact that i wasn't going away and started to like me - he does admit that he saw nothing in me for at least the first 6 months. and i would like to say that i am or at least was not bad looking, ok figure, ok face, nothing beautiful but nothing bad, he aint no jack from lost, more of a jerry seinfeld/larry david combo. but thats how it all began, one lonely teenager desperate to grow up and escape living with an evil mother and he, my ray of hope, an independant older (25 years when we met) man already stuck in his ways.
i sound negative but i think i am a ngative person, that and the years have aged our love. marriage, 2 children, 2 cats and 4 homes later we are different people, but i always knew 3 things, doug understood me when noone else did, he didn't take any crap from me (much to my dissapointment), he knew what point i was eventually getting to -unlike anyone reading this i'm sure. 2. doug had the work ethic, he would happily trot off to work, didn't mind walking didn't mind the train he was happy clawing at the ladder and wanted to get to the top. 3. he made me laugh, my dad makes me laugh and the only advice my mum ever gave me, apart from never get married, never have children only work. was that choose a man that makes you laugh -she did and she divorced him after 10 years because she didn't want to laugh, she still doesn't, it's just something her mother told her.
so to get to the point, we called it love night, friday night, no laptops on, no cooking, just chinese and tv -sometimes indian, rarely Thai, sometimes films.
after 10 years, and they have had their ups and downs, but we are together still, and we have 2 kids, and a big morgage so i don't see either of us running off too quickly, and i'm not saying either us would if those things weren't in the way, but i'm not saying we wouldn't think about it!
oh and i know i think in such a non linear way therefore write like that, can't be bothered with punctuation and i'm sure i sound like a crazy person. but hey i'm just venting!
this is more about how we are tring to improve our relationship to get it into a place where both doug and i can last into the future and hopefully be happy together and get some kind of sex life back - although after 2 babies that isn't my main theme -mr kettle would dissagree! i also add that it was never really there!
